Control

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OR the lack thereof…

From the time I went off to university and was in charge of my life and that around me, I was in control.  From student, to wife, to mother, I was still in control of my surroundings, children and life. So much so that I would feel overwhelmed a lot of times and stressed to the max, but knew I had to keep going, if only for my kids.

Once the kids were out the door and beginning their own lives, I finally realized I had lost myself and started looking for what was missing.  My life was changing.  My marriage was gone, I was losing control of everything around me, including my job and home life.  In the midst of all this I began to find myself and what I needed.

I found I needed to give up control to get the control back.  Control of my life and all around me.  And this was done when I met Daddy and we started talking and sharing and moving forward in a relationship together.  When I gave up my control to him, gave him the pieces of me as a whole to be molded and shaped back into the person I am, I found me again.  The same me, yet a new me.

When we share things and talk through things, he gives me guidance and support in what I do.  When we have our play times and I lay myself at his feet to control and guide me through our time together, I feel free.  I feel cared for, loved, protected and supported through all of it.  The communication and understanding that I had been looking for is right there in him.  The support, connection, protection and love I had been longing for, they are all right there in him.  I trust him more than I have been able to trust anyone.  It amazes me more and more every day how blessed I am.

I never thought I would want to give someone else control over me and yet, I have.  Not always in everything I do, for he does not want that because I have to be able to do things on my own of course.  But, the things I don’t have to be in control of all the time, I happily hand over to him when I can.  It’s a balance thing and we have room for that balance in our life and all we do.

Kat xx

*Pic found from Tumblr

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Real Life vs. Fantasy – Day 14 of 30 Days of Kink

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Day 14: How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink? If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?

I believe in fantasy BDSM/kink, we think of the perfect scenario where the Dom does his specific leading, controlling, protecting and stability in all he is and does. Not just in the sex/kink part of life but the everyday routines and doing things.  As well as the submissive is following as she is told, pleasing her Dom in every circumstance, there to serve and be used and lead, to give the Dom reasons for what he does as well as give up her control to him, both in sex/kink and real life.  Some think it is all serious, all rules and regulations, all following one path and only one way of doing things.   I thought this pretty much when I started reading about it and learning about the lifestyle.  But then diving into it further and experiencing it for myself I have found there are soooo many more avenues and so much more than one way of doing things or liking things in the BDSM/kink lifestyle.

Thing is real life takes over a lot.  We are all human and things don’t quite work out the way you think they are supposed to.  Once you are in a BDSM/kink real life relationship it is so different in so many ways.  I personally as a submissive sometimes have a very hard time relinquishing my control in certain things to Daddy.  I feel it is my duty to do things that I am in charge of and should be taking care of that he should not be worrying about.  Especially with us being a LDR, we live separate lives while trying to eventually pull into one.  Being used to having to take care of myself and that around me, it is very hard to think someone else, even Daddy, would know better than me in what I should do.  Yet he always has my best interest at heart and always wants to take care of things, and me, so that I don’t have to, knowing at times I have to do that as well.  (He is even right sometimes 😉 Actually most of the time.)

Truth be told when I relinquish that control to him, or do as he suggests, I feel relief and a big weight is lifted.  It shows me once again why I love this relationship and how much I count on his confidence, love, understanding and guidance in things.  Not to mention the wonderful kinky things we do.  I have learned and enjoyed so much more than I ever thought possible in a relationship like this.  In both the daily communication and sharing things and the kinky fun (and serious) things we do.  You really don’t know the difference until you experience it yourself.

But, as always, I caution anyone interested in the BDSM/kink lifestyle to be careful.  Do research, know who you are getting into a relationship with and that you are both in it for all the right reasons. Safe, Sane and Consensual (SSC) are the common principles guiding relationships and activities in this lifestyle.

And that’s my take on it, and mine alone, unless you agree. 🙂

Kat xx

*Pic used from Pinterest

 

Play Toy – Masturbation Monday – NSFW

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Here I wait in excitement and submission

For you to come in and begin your perversive position

As you have me over the bed spread wide

You have all access to tan my hide

The way you want and need to

To give me all you feel I have due

With paddles, crops and floggers

They are all used to give me the markers

Then once this is done, you move me over and closer

So not only the feelings, but your words can take me under

To the place I go to for only you and your joy

For to you I am your little girl kitten play toy

Kat xx

*Pic from Tumblr

 

What is the appeal? – Day 13 of 30 days of Kink

 

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Day 13: Explain as best you can what the appeal of kink/BDSM is to you? Why are you drawn to what you’re drawn to?

To me, the appeal of kink/BDSM is #1, the connection you establish as a submissive to your Dom.  The overall trust you are willing to give to another person and the communication that is so important in the relationship for it to be able to thrive.  I know most would say the sex, but that is not the focus I had when learning about the lifestyle.  I think it most likely was because I was looking so hard for this type of relationship in my own at the time, and it wasn’t there.

#2, the ability to try new things sexually that you would never be able to try with someone else without feeling like you were asking them to lasso the moon for you or change themselves for you.  Being so open to try, learn and enjoy new things.   I have always loved to try new things and learn new things.  It’s just how I am and this gives me that.  My limits are pushed and new possibilities introduced and I just love it!

Kat xx

*Pic used from Tumblr

 

 

TMI Tuesday – Tough Decisions Ahead

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1. Name 3 things that most excite your imagination when you imagine doing them? (I know TMI Tuesday blog is number one, so name three other things 🙂 ). The 3 things that most excite my imagination when I imagine doing them…Well, absolutely #1 is sex! Then the other two would be reading/writing and then music and/or painting.

2. When sleeping with your significant other (yes, actually sleeping) do you like to cuddle up or do you prefer sleeping away from them nestled in your own blanket cocoon?  I love to fall asleep cuddling but then I get too hot and have to move to my own space/side of the bed.

3. Would you rather:
a. Drive 200 miles well over the legally drunk limit?
or
b. Drive 200 miles after being awake for 72 hours?  I would rather neither one! But if I absolutely have to choose I would say drive after being awake for 72 hours.  I would most likely have constant stops and music up loud

4. Would you rather:
a. Be topless all the time
or
b. Pantless all the time  I would most likely rather go pantless.  Mainly for the same reason as another blogger here (thepinkseam), my ta tas need support and of course Daddy would just Loooovvvve me being pantless at all times!  😉

5. What is something you could talk about for hours? I could talk about so many things for hours! My family, my love of music, my writing…just sooo many things.

Bonus: What is something you could talk about for hours and not bore people to death? Definitely sex! Sex does not bore and if it does not embarrass people then it excites them and there are so many aspects you can cover in just that one subject to keep all entertained for not only hours, but days!!

Kat xx

Check out the other posts on this TMI Tuesday!

Humorous BDSM/Kink Experience – Day 12 of 30 Days of Kink

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Day 12: Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had. If you haven’t had one, talk about aspects of kink/BDSM you find funny.

Have you ever been in the middle of a scene and suddenly your Dom can’t get the cuffs to work right? I have.

Ever been walking toward your Dom and your heel twists and your ankle gives out and you almost fall? I have.

I love that we can be comfortable in our relationship enough to go through the comical things that happen and enjoy all the aspects of our dynamic not only in a scene but in our daily lives.  BDSM/kink does not have to be all serious.  Yes, that helps with a scene, but sometimes it’s good to have that comical relief.

We may at times be impatient or unhappy that things happen the way they do, but we love each other and work through things because of that love.  We communicate and talk to one another about things.  Both the good and the bad.  It’s a great way to be!

Kat xx

*Pic used from Tumblr

Ethics of Kink – Day 11 of 30 Days of Kink

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Day 11: What are your views on the ethics of kink?

I’m really late today! My view on the ethics of BDSM/Kink:

The contract for BDSM, D/s, M/s, or what ever your dynamic in this lifestyle is an important part of starting out protected for all parties involved.  I know some do written and signed while others do verbal.  It lets the parties know the rules, how they want the relationship to grow and work and gives a good guideline to any future changes.

Another protection for all parties is the safe words.  They are there to protect the sub/bottom to make sure the Dom/me knows the limits they can take their sub/bottom to and that they can handle as well as protecting the Dom/me from not knowing the limits they are working with.  I have found over time the Dom/me seems to be able to read their sub/bottom better the longer they are together and the safe words may not be used or needed even though its good they are there just in case they are ever needed.

Not only are these great ethical dynamics to the lifestyle but one other thing is the support and information that those in the community are willing to help out with and share.  It has amazed me and fills my heart with joy to know there are those in the community you can trust and talk to, even over those phonies that are out there.

Kat xx