Real Life vs. Fantasy – Day 14 of 30 Days of Kink

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Day 14: How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink? If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?

I believe in fantasy BDSM/kink, we think of the perfect scenario where the Dom does his specific leading, controlling, protecting and stability in all he is and does. Not just in the sex/kink part of life but the everyday routines and doing things.  As well as the submissive is following as she is told, pleasing her Dom in every circumstance, there to serve and be used and lead, to give the Dom reasons for what he does as well as give up her control to him, both in sex/kink and real life.  Some think it is all serious, all rules and regulations, all following one path and only one way of doing things.   I thought this pretty much when I started reading about it and learning about the lifestyle.  But then diving into it further and experiencing it for myself I have found there are soooo many more avenues and so much more than one way of doing things or liking things in the BDSM/kink lifestyle.

Thing is real life takes over a lot.  We are all human and things don’t quite work out the way you think they are supposed to.  Once you are in a BDSM/kink real life relationship it is so different in so many ways.  I personally as a submissive sometimes have a very hard time relinquishing my control in certain things to Daddy.  I feel it is my duty to do things that I am in charge of and should be taking care of that he should not be worrying about.  Especially with us being a LDR, we live separate lives while trying to eventually pull into one.  Being used to having to take care of myself and that around me, it is very hard to think someone else, even Daddy, would know better than me in what I should do.  Yet he always has my best interest at heart and always wants to take care of things, and me, so that I don’t have to, knowing at times I have to do that as well.  (He is even right sometimes 😉 Actually most of the time.)

Truth be told when I relinquish that control to him, or do as he suggests, I feel relief and a big weight is lifted.  It shows me once again why I love this relationship and how much I count on his confidence, love, understanding and guidance in things.  Not to mention the wonderful kinky things we do.  I have learned and enjoyed so much more than I ever thought possible in a relationship like this.  In both the daily communication and sharing things and the kinky fun (and serious) things we do.  You really don’t know the difference until you experience it yourself.

But, as always, I caution anyone interested in the BDSM/kink lifestyle to be careful.  Do research, know who you are getting into a relationship with and that you are both in it for all the right reasons. Safe, Sane and Consensual (SSC) are the common principles guiding relationships and activities in this lifestyle.

And that’s my take on it, and mine alone, unless you agree. 🙂

Kat xx

*Pic used from Pinterest

 

What is the appeal? – Day 13 of 30 days of Kink

 

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Day 13: Explain as best you can what the appeal of kink/BDSM is to you? Why are you drawn to what you’re drawn to?

To me, the appeal of kink/BDSM is #1, the connection you establish as a submissive to your Dom.  The overall trust you are willing to give to another person and the communication that is so important in the relationship for it to be able to thrive.  I know most would say the sex, but that is not the focus I had when learning about the lifestyle.  I think it most likely was because I was looking so hard for this type of relationship in my own at the time, and it wasn’t there.

#2, the ability to try new things sexually that you would never be able to try with someone else without feeling like you were asking them to lasso the moon for you or change themselves for you.  Being so open to try, learn and enjoy new things.   I have always loved to try new things and learn new things.  It’s just how I am and this gives me that.  My limits are pushed and new possibilities introduced and I just love it!

Kat xx

*Pic used from Tumblr

 

 

Humorous BDSM/Kink Experience – Day 12 of 30 Days of Kink

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Day 12: Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had. If you haven’t had one, talk about aspects of kink/BDSM you find funny.

Have you ever been in the middle of a scene and suddenly your Dom can’t get the cuffs to work right? I have.

Ever been walking toward your Dom and your heel twists and your ankle gives out and you almost fall? I have.

I love that we can be comfortable in our relationship enough to go through the comical things that happen and enjoy all the aspects of our dynamic not only in a scene but in our daily lives.  BDSM/kink does not have to be all serious.  Yes, that helps with a scene, but sometimes it’s good to have that comical relief.

We may at times be impatient or unhappy that things happen the way they do, but we love each other and work through things because of that love.  We communicate and talk to one another about things.  Both the good and the bad.  It’s a great way to be!

Kat xx

*Pic used from Tumblr

Ethics of Kink – Day 11 of 30 Days of Kink

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Day 11: What are your views on the ethics of kink?

I’m really late today! My view on the ethics of BDSM/Kink:

The contract for BDSM, D/s, M/s, or what ever your dynamic in this lifestyle is an important part of starting out protected for all parties involved.  I know some do written and signed while others do verbal.  It lets the parties know the rules, how they want the relationship to grow and work and gives a good guideline to any future changes.

Another protection for all parties is the safe words.  They are there to protect the sub/bottom to make sure the Dom/me knows the limits they can take their sub/bottom to and that they can handle as well as protecting the Dom/me from not knowing the limits they are working with.  I have found over time the Dom/me seems to be able to read their sub/bottom better the longer they are together and the safe words may not be used or needed even though its good they are there just in case they are ever needed.

Not only are these great ethical dynamics to the lifestyle but one other thing is the support and information that those in the community are willing to help out with and share.  It has amazed me and fills my heart with joy to know there are those in the community you can trust and talk to, even over those phonies that are out there.

Kat xx

 

Hard limits – Day 10 of 30 Days of Kink

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DAY 10: HOW FAR…
What are your hard limits?

Ohhh, sooo many! But not as many as when we began.

  • Water play
  • Fire play
  • Blood play
  • Knife and needle play
  • Age play
  • Asphyxiation
  • Bestiality
  • Breath control
  • Branding
  • Scat
  • Golden showers
  • Cells/Closets (locked inside of)

I know there are more, but these come to mind immediately, and they are my hard limits which Daddy is in agreement with them.  Daddy has always told me if I am not sure about something he suggests, like a cane (on my soft limit), I may try it out on him first.  That he would not do anything on me that he would not have done to himself first.

What are your hard limits?

Kat xx

*Pic used from Tumblr

Kink Related Song – Day 9 of 30 Days of Kink

17bde8a914b3e12c89cac738115fc27fDay 9: Post a kink related song or music video you enjoy.

https://youtu.be/KdS6HFQ_LUc

S&M

Na na na, come on
Na na na, come on
Na na na, na na come on
Na na na, come on, come on
Come on, na na-na na come on
Na na na, come on
Na na na, na na, come on
Na na na, come on, come on
Come on, na na na na

Feels so good being bad
There’s no way I’m turning back
Now the pain is for pleasure
‘Cause nothing can measure

Love is great, love is fine
Out the box, out of line
The affliction of the feeling leaves me wanting more

‘Cause I may be bad but I’m perfectly good at it
Sex in the air, I don’t care, I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But chains and whips excite me

‘Cause I may be bad but I’m perfectly good at it
Sex in the air, I don’t care, I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones may break my bones,
But chains and whips excite me

Na na na come on, come on, come on
I like it, like it, come on, come on, come on
I like it, like it, come on, come on, come on
I like it, like it come on, come on, come on
I like it, like it

Love is great, love is fine
Out the box, out of line
The affliction of the feeling leaves me wanting more

‘Cause I may be bad but I’m perfectly good at it
Sex in the air, I don’t care, I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But chains and whips excite me

Na na na come on, come on, come on
I like it, like it, come on, come on, come on
I like it, like it, come on, come on, come on
I like it, like it come on, come on, come on
I like it, like it

S, S, S and M, M, M
S, S, S and M, M, M

Oh I love the feeling you bring to me
Oh, you turn me on
It’s exactly what I’ve been yearning for
Give it to me strong
And meet me in my boudoir
Make my body say ah, ah, ah
I like it, like it

‘Cause I may be bad but I’m perfectly good at it
Sex in the air, I don’t care, I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But chains and whips excite me

‘Cause I may be bad but I’m perfectly good at it
Sex in the air, I don’t care, I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But chains and whips excite me

Na na na come on, come on, come on,
I like it, like it, come on, come on, come on
I like it, like it, come on, come on, come on
I like it, like it come on, come on, come on
I like it, like it

S, S, S and M, M, M
S, S, S and M, M, M
S, S, S and M, M, M
S, S, S and M, M, M

It’s a fun song and one most people know. And it is on one of my favorite movies! 🙂

Bonus:

As a bonus, this song, Bound to You, is a song this little submissive heart just loves❣️

https://youtu.be/ryXSQOR7lqU

Kat xx

*Pic from Pinterest

Erotic Kinky Image – Day 8 of 30 Days of Kink

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Day 8: Post a kinky image you find erotic.

I love this image because there are so many aspects to it.  The “head down ass up” as well as hands behind her back showing the submissive mindset. Then along with with this, the crop she is holding (in her toes no less) for her Sir showing she is ready to take her punishment and serve his need and hers.

A wonderful submissive pose that hits this submissive heart. ❤️

Kat xx

*Pic from Tumblr