One of those days

IMG_0923Ever have one of those days where you are all over-active in the head and emotional because of it?  And no matter what you try you can’t seem to get yourself out of that? No breathing, no meditation, no mantra…nothing.  That was me yesterday.  I don’t know what spurred it on or why I was even that way. Maybe things that need to be done, responsibilities on me that I don’t want to deal with but know I have to, being out of touch with the one person that can center me, just so many things that could start me on that spiral in my head.

I know I am a strong person, so when I get into these times and situations in myself it makes me doubt that strength and makes me question who I am.  Other times I am confident in who I am, what I want, where I want to be and what I want to do.  I know everyone has moments of questioning themselves, but those that always seem so confident, it’s so hard to believe they do, yet I know they do.

When I get into that out of control, feeling guilty, feeling responsible, emotional place I have to remember, I am not the only one going through this. I am not alone. I am a good person and I have to deal with it the best I can at this time.  And I do and move on.  It’s not easy but I do.

Kitty Kat xx

Thank you!

IMG_6644

You know, I have the best support I could ever ask for in my Daddy. As well as those that love and understand me.  

It is amazing to find out and know I have the support in many areas of my life that I never expected.  Some family that I didn’t expect support from, some unexpected friends’ support, and those I do not know even yet.  

To know this spurs me on to feel the words that flow from me into my blogs and posts.  It leads me to share all that I have up to now and continues on.  

I know I am just starting this blog and am getting to know how it works,  but am learning so much…of myself and how to just let it all come out.  To try not to hold back, because there are so many out there that feel the same and want to know there is someone there going through the same things, feelings, emotions and life challenges that I am.  It is amazingly liberating to know.  

So, thank you to those that support what I share and those that share daily on here as well.  

Muah!

Kitty Kat 

Scared

IMG_5679

I’m scared.

Scared I will do the wrong thing. 

Scared I will not be what Daddy needs.

Scared I am not the person I think I am.

Scared I will not be strong enough.

Scared I am weaker than I think I am.

Scared others will think I am not true. 

Scared I do not make myself heard the way I need. 

Scared my voice is not being heard.

Scared others do not understand me.

Scared my anxiety and problems will overtake me.

Scared….just scared.

He gets me through

IMG_2118

Speaking from this sub point of view, I have been so out of sync lately that I just feel if I was with Daddy right now, all would be fine and just right.  But due to my crazy life and the “stuff” I am dealing with, we are apart for now.  And it is driving me NUTS! 

We talk daily and message daily throughout the day.  But its just not the same as when you are right there together, able to touch and talk face to face.  I am yearning for this more and more every day.  

Its like a craving.  You have had it once or twice and because of this you want it more.  Crave it, want it, need it, got to have it….NOW!

I know we will get there but the getting through all the other stuff is the pits.  I have the best Dom/Daddy a girl could ever have.  I am thankful every day to have him in my life.  Knowing he loves me as much, if not more (yes I know, Daddy), than I love him, is amazing to me. And knowing this gets me through these times. It pulls me through.  

Kitty Kat

Play Date – NSFW

IMG_2114

Daddy and I have a scheduled play date for this afternoon.  He went out shopping and told me to come up with a scenario we both would have fun with.  He would be back by 3pm and he expected to find me, at the time he walked through the door, to be kneeling in my position with the costume of choice on and all implements we might use ready and laid out.  

It took me a bit to decide.  We have fun with so many different scenarios.  Such as maid, school girl, cheerleader, lingerie, picnic little girl…just so many.  I finally decided on one we had not played in quite a while.  

I made sure all was laid out as Daddy requires.  Put on my costume and was kneeling right before 3pm.  Daddy is always very prompt in his timing and unless traffic puts him behind he is normally early or exactly on time.  He walks in right at 3pm and walks past me with his shopping.  Knowing he has seen me I am excited to see his reaction.  

He comes back in the room and stops beside where I am kneeling.  He puts his hand on my head, petting me between my ears.  

“Well hello my kitten. Doesn’t Daddy’s baby girl look precious!”

I put my arms and hands up as a kitten would if begging for a treat. 

“Meow”

“Come here to Daddy kitty, let’s go in here to the living room.”

I followed behind Daddy, crawling, swinging my hips so my beautiful tail swished as I followed.

Daddy sat down in his recliner and I knelt beside him on the rug. He played with my tail and adjusted my collar.  

“So, has my kitten been a good girl today?” Daddy asked

I nod and say, “Yes Daddy.”

“Even if my baby girl kitten has been a good girl, what do we always do before play?”

“Maintenance spanking Daddy.”

“Yes my sweet girl. Now, go over to the Chaise Longe and kneel on it with your front paws on the back of it, pet.”

“Yes Sir.”  I crawl over and get up on the Longe and do as Daddy said.  

“Good girl. I will be right back.”

I stay in my position, waiting for Daddy.  His spankings always make me soaked. Just thinking about them has me wet already.  I hear him walk back into the room and place a few things on the recliner.  He walks over and states, “Okay kitten I will start with light taps to get you warmed up. Understand?”

“Yes Sir, Daddy.”

“I will begin.”  He then started a steady peppering of my cheeks and upper thighs.  Starting out a bit stingy and I felt as the areas began to get warm.  He paused and reached for the brush.  

“Brush now baby girl.  Are you ready?”

“Yes Daddy, I am ready.”

He does not have me count.  He just starts in and continues on both cheeks and upper thighs once more.  It’s really starting to sting now, especially in certain spots.  

I give a sigh as he pauses again.  

He then takes up the leather paddle.  

“Okay Kitten, time to count.  Daddy will do 20 on each cheek and 10 on each thigh.  You are to count. Begin.”

As he starts with the paddle I count out each swat on each cheek and each thigh.  “1, thank you Daddy, may I have another?” And continue until Daddy finishes each area.  

By now I am really hurting in some areas and can feel the marks very well.  

“Babygirl, Daddy was going to get the wooden paddle, but I think I have gotten you quite ready and Daddy wants to play. That will be it for now, but Daddy has the option to come back. Do you understand?”

“Yes Daddy, I understand.”

“Good girl.”

“Now, Daddy wants to play with his babygirl’s cunt.  Turn over and lay on your back for Daddy.”

I did as Daddy asked.  He immediately knelt down beside me and started playing with my pussy.

“Mmmm, I was right. My baby girl is quite ready and wet for Daddy.”

“Oh yes Daddy!”

He leaned down and started licking my cunt and I moaned as he slipped his tongue inside, lapping up my wetness.  

“Oh Daddy!”

“Yes, Kitten?”

“It feels sooo good Daddy.”

“Show Daddy how good it feels baby girl.”

“Oh yes Daddy.”

He continues in his onslaught of my cunt and begins working the tail in and out of my ass as he starts taking me to the brink with his magical tongue.  

“Daddy! Oh Daddy! Can I cum??? Please!!”

“Are you sure Kitten?”

“Yes Daddy! Oh Yes! Please can I cum??!!”

“Cum for me baby girl, cum for Daddy!”

In that instant I cum and I cum hard.  

Daddy continues licking and saying, “good girl!”

He pauses and says, “Turn over on your knees now kitten and spread your legs open for Daddy.”

I do so on shaky legs and Daddy reaches for a vibrator and comes behind me turning it on.  

“Daddy wants his kitten to cum again.  Can you do that Kitten? Can you cum for Daddy?”

“Oh yes Daddy.”

He begins to touch my pussy with the vibrator and I jump, I am so sensitive.  

“Shhh, babygirl, no moving.  Daddy is going to play with his kitten cunt and make his baby girl cum again.  And then Daddy is going to take what is his.”

I took in a sharp breath. I love when Daddy talks like this.  It makes me wet all over again.  He pops my ass cheeks a few times for good measure and continues working the vibrator on my cunt and moves down to my clit and I moan.  He then starts playing with the tail again, pushing it in and pulling it out to a point, and pushing it back in.  I think I am going to lose it fast.  

I hear his pants fall to his feet and as he plays with the tail and the vibrator on my clit, I feel his cock at my cunt and suddenly takes me in one fast penetration.  I moan louder than I have yet, it feels so heavenly.  With this sensory overload it does not take me long before I am begging Daddy once again to let me cum.  

“Oh Daddy, Pleasssseeee can I cum!! Oh Daddy pleasssseee!!”

“Yes babygirl, cum for your Daddy! Give it to me!”

I cum so hard I scream from the pure bliss he has taken me to.  

Not but seconds after I do, Daddy cums with a growl.  

He holds me for a few seconds without moving.  He slowly moves and asks if I am okay.  

I nod, unable to talk just yet.  He takes the vibrator away and pulls out slowly.  I lay on my side catching my breath.  

These play dates are so wonderful and amazing. I never want them to stop!

My View of this lifestyle

IMG_5922

It’s amazing to me how many different views of this lifestyle there are out there. What I feel is the right view others would not agree with.  And I in turn do not always agree with others’ views.

To me, personally, I understand the D/s lifestyle to be a growing ever-changing relationship between Dom and sub.  Yes, there is the constant power exchange in what is right and wrong, Top/bottom, etc… Yes, there is the leadership/order in the Dom and the following/answering in the sub (per se). But that love is always there. Guiding the two in the life they love and the lifestyle they crave and need with one another.

Everyone has their own beliefs and needs in the lifestyle of BDSM.  No person is wrong in what they believe is their way. Do not hate or put down what others enjoy and believe in.  It is their choice and as long as it is safe, sane and consensual between the adults taking part, it is to their own choosing.

I have gone through a lot in the past few years and am so thankful I found this way of life.  I believe it is the reason I am stronger today than I was a few years ago.  I believe it gives me even more strength than I have ever had before.  I love the person I have become and am continuing to be.  I have the support of an ever-loving Dom that guides, supports, nurtures and protects me always.  His love carries me on through each day.  I am determined every day to make him happy and show him how very much he means to me.

One thing I love about this lifestyle is that it is an always changing, always developing, always moving thing.  To me it does not get stagnant and does not get boring.  We try, and learn, new things, new ways of doing things; in play, life and sexual means.  We spur one another on, in writing, learning, feelings, and just everything.  It warms my soul to know how much we mean to each other.  He is my muse and I am his.

I know when one of us is feeling down, we can normally lift the other up just by talking, hearing the other’s voice, listening and talking through things.  We are so in tune to each other we usually know when something is not quite right and needs to be dealt with and communicated.  It’s not always like this.  We have to work at it always.  But we do come back around to it through us trusting in one another and talking it out.

My view of this lifestyle is most likely very mild compared to many.  It is a deep relationship to me.  Not only is it D/s, a bit of S/M, but a relationship that can last a lifetime.