Once again…

Once again, my mind is going non-stop…over-thinking, over-analyzing, emotional…

The more I learn about myself the more I feel there is more to learn. Why would a person need to understand herself? Would she not know already? What is the deal?!?

I know I am definitely learning how to deal with things better; even with my mind running as it does. I catch myself more and more learning and acting on my boundaries and not getting overwhelmed by things, people and situations.

And I know I am blessed to be sensitive to others and their feelings, but damn it’s so overwhelming and frustrating sometimes!!

Anyway, just had to get those thoughts out of my system,

Thanks for letting me share❣️💋

KK xx

*Painting by Loui Jover

I don’t know…

I don’t know what has gotten in to me this past week…PMS, anxiety, feeling of complete overwhelming, any of these things could be the culprit, but I just know it has thrown me off this week.  It makes me frustrated and not liking myself in the least.  I feel I try to get things done and can’t.  I feel I have so many projects in the works and can’t even finish one.  It’s so frustrating and makes me feel inadequate in so many ways.

From the last year, I know this is part anxiety and trying to work with correcting things I let get the best of me.  I am working through them and doing what I can yet still feel bad.  My Daddy tries to make me feel better yet at times doesn’t understand. This is not his fault and thank goodness he continues to try!

Just had to jot this down and now will work on my post…

KK xx

Exhausting…

I have always held things in, made sure all around me were happy, acting like I was okay at all times. Had always been told that no one wants to hear your problems because they don’t care and being down brings others down. Didn’t want others to worry about me, I would be okay and there are so many others out in the world dealing with things much worse than me.

But doing this all the time wears a person down, makes a person feel they are alone and is completely exhausting. So much so a person will start looking elsewhere for happiness and understanding.

I know. I have been there. More than once. I am learning to deal with these things and to realize when I am getting to the point where I need to stop, take a breath, and know it’s time to work with boundaries, self-love, and work through the thought and actions bringing me down.

It’s taking time and understanding, but I am getting there and know there are others out there doing the same.

Love you all❣️

KK xx

*Picture/meme from Pinterest

Do you have one of those minds…?

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Do you have one of those minds that you think of one thought and your mind takes off in all these angles of negative thinking and anxious thinking and unreal thinking making you stressed, anxious, scared, nervous, upset…Oh I could just go on and on!!

That is mine on a daily basis.  I am trying to learn to find ways of staying away from these negative thoughts and feelings by thinking of other things, learning to breathe, getting on the computer and finding things to keep me occupied, writing down my thoughts, listening to music, talking to someone… Just anything to get myself away from such thoughts and feelings.  Cause once you start on that roller coaster it’s hard to get off.  Mine is normally about other people.  Loved ones and their thoughts, perceptions, feelings, etc…about me, what I say, what I do, just any ole thing that I worry about.

I over-think, over-analyze, over-process, over-everything!! It’s mainly all right there in my head. Not the truth. Most the time the furthest from the truth. Yet there I am thinking and feeling it, so it must be real, it must be the truth, right?? No not right!

So why do I do these things to myself? Why do I have such a hard time about self-worth and being okay in me? I never pictured myself as this person.  I never realized until I began trying to understand me that I am so much more complicated than I ever knew.

How about you?

~KK xx

*Pic off Pinterest

You seriously are not alone!

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I’ve had a lot going on in my life lately.  It is making me anxious. Giving me feelings of guilt and responsibility for others.  Very emotional and unsettled.  I am trying to deal with all these things best I can and most times hiding it from others.  Those that know me, not so much. 

I have issues and at times I feel very down about myself, who I am as a person and how others see me.  I am getting better about these things every day.  Getting stronger in who I am.  These things are still there for me to deal with, just not as bad.  

I have people that support and love me.  I have a mantra that I try to say every day.  I have techniques on how to deal with some things, such as meditation and breathing, exercise, self-love by spoiling myself at times, etc…

I know I am not the only one out there doing this, but sometimes it feels like I am the only one going through things like this; don’t I know it!  And I just want you to know, those that might be reading this and feeling the same, that you are not alone, I am doing all of this and getting through. It is hard but I/we can do this! 

You are loved, you are good, you are strong and you will get through this.

Kitty Kat xx

One of those days

IMG_0923Ever have one of those days where you are all over-active in the head and emotional because of it?  And no matter what you try you can’t seem to get yourself out of that? No breathing, no meditation, no mantra…nothing.  That was me yesterday.  I don’t know what spurred it on or why I was even that way. Maybe things that need to be done, responsibilities on me that I don’t want to deal with but know I have to, being out of touch with the one person that can center me, just so many things that could start me on that spiral in my head.

I know I am a strong person, so when I get into these times and situations in myself it makes me doubt that strength and makes me question who I am.  Other times I am confident in who I am, what I want, where I want to be and what I want to do.  I know everyone has moments of questioning themselves, but those that always seem so confident, it’s so hard to believe they do, yet I know they do.

When I get into that out of control, feeling guilty, feeling responsible, emotional place I have to remember, I am not the only one going through this. I am not alone. I am a good person and I have to deal with it the best I can at this time.  And I do and move on.  It’s not easy but I do.

Kitty Kat xx