Once again…

Once again, my mind is going non-stop…over-thinking, over-analyzing, emotional…

The more I learn about myself the more I feel there is more to learn. Why would a person need to understand herself? Would she not know already? What is the deal?!?

I know I am definitely learning how to deal with things better; even with my mind running as it does. I catch myself more and more learning and acting on my boundaries and not getting overwhelmed by things, people and situations.

And I know I am blessed to be sensitive to others and their feelings, but damn it’s so overwhelming and frustrating sometimes!!

Anyway, just had to get those thoughts out of my system,

Thanks for letting me share❣️💋

KK xx

*Painting by Loui Jover

Take a step back

It’s amazing how when you are with someone and so connected that when given a moment to think, you are able to react in a good way to your partner without realizing you just know what’s wrong.

I had been quite emotional for about a week. I had tried to explain what was wrong as best I could. But of course, it’s not enough when Daddy feels he should be able to fix things or any problems I might have.

So, we were cooking dinner together. I was cutting up the vegetables and all needed as he began to cook. All at once he started fussing at me about the clutter and why couldn’t I clean things up better, etc.

I walked away for a few moments and stepped outside so I wouldn’t say anything I or he would regret. I pondered on why he would do this all of a sudden knowing I have done my best to keep things up and even through my emotional crap. I took a deep breath, walked back inside.

I leaned on the counter wiping away my tears and looked at him. He said he didn’t want to get in a fuss with me, and I quietly said to him, “I know you feel helpless when I am emotional and out of sorts and can’t fix things. But you lashing out at me for it definitely doesn’t help.” ( Or something to that point)

I saw him stop and realize I hit the nail on the head with that and he immediately apologized and said I was right and he shouldn’t take it out on the one person he was trying to make things better for.

I know I probably didn’t describe it exactly right, but I just wanted to make the point that if we stop, take a step back, breathe and focus, it’s like the reason or fact shows itself sometimes without us even realizing it.

When you love someone, it’s so hard to say what you feel and we act/react without thinking. Take a moment to breathe, focus and calmly work it out.

KK xx ❤️

*Pic found on Pinterest by Henry Asencio

Getting to know my kink – Spankings

It’s fun getting to know my kink. Things I enjoy and didn’t realize I would, along with ones I absolutely knew I would.

Never thought I would be one to enjoy spankings. That is, until I realized being spanked made me hot, wet and horny! Once realizing this, I am now finding out the ones that really get me.

So far, I have been spanked with the following: hand, wooden paddles (large/small, thinner/thick), wooden spoons, hair brushes, leather paddles (small-large), crops, floggers and leather straps.

With the wooden implements like spoons and paddles, the solid “thwack” of the impact to my bottom is impressive by sound and feel of the larger paddles and cringingly stingy with the sharp pop of the smaller paddles and spoons. These are not my favorites but make the statement(s) needed when called for.

To me the hand, hair brushes, small leather paddle and/or crop are great for peppering my arse to get it warmed up and ready for further “punishment” and play. These “implements” are easier to work up from light to harder impacts, from what I have felt.

Out of the leather implements I have found so far that the leather strap(s) have the hardest impact, although the flogger can definitely be right there with it.

The flogger, however, I have found a bit more erotic in the feeling at impact than the other leather implements. To me it is like being caressed and given pain all in one. With the smaller flogger as it caresses will give the short sharp bite, where the larger flogger will give the thudding impact ending in a pop within that caress. This, if you can’t tell, is one of my favorite impact play implements.

The leather paddles I enjoy more than the wooden paddles. I think my body just enjoys the feel of leather (along with the smell, yummy!); the difference is definitely there. The impact is still stinging but not as much of a thud as the wood.

So, even though the wooden implements will always be in our impact play, I really enjoy the leather implements and how they affect me during our play.

There are so many other kinks I can talk about but will save them for another post. This kink, spankings, was just in the forefront of my mind and I wanted to share.

What kinks do you enjoy or have found more enjoyable than you thought? Would love to know!

KK xx

*Pic from Pinterest

Sensitive playtime (NSFW)

Today’s playtime we did some things we haven’t done before, and some that we have. Right now I am really sensitive so anything Daddy does feels double!!

I dressed as Daddy directed; plain t-shirt, white knickers and white knee socks.  I put my hair in a braid and got him all the implements and toys he requested be ready for our playtime.  He had me sit in his lap and talk over things from the past week. What was good and what was bad.  We went over things and it all came down to the fact that I was not bad, but my emotions took over the best of me and at times I was not handling things well.  So, Daddy had me get up and stand in the corner to think over things for a bit while he prepared himself for our playtime.

Once Daddy was ready he had me stand with my hands to my back and handcuffed me.  He then had me bend over the couch and started with a warm up on my “sit-down area” of my bottom.  Yikes! I was not ready for that! It stung more than I remembered before and I was several times close to using my safe word  throughout our play time, but I didn’t.

He started with the leather paddle for the warm up. then moved to a wooden paddle with wholes drilled in, then moved to the crop to end it.  By the time he had done with the harder spankings, I was thankful for the crop.  And this was after he had taken the cuffs off of me.

He then proceeded to make me feel better when we went into “play mode with Kitten”.  He had me pick out a few toys and then proceeded to work me with the wand and his tongue, to the point I came three times! It was incredible and just what I needed!  Daddy knows me so well!

It was then my turn to take care of Daddy. With cock ring and lube and how worked up he was from our session, he came hard for me.

I can’t wait for our next playtime!

KK xx

* Pic from tumblr

I don’t know…

I don’t know what has gotten in to me this past week…PMS, anxiety, feeling of complete overwhelming, any of these things could be the culprit, but I just know it has thrown me off this week.  It makes me frustrated and not liking myself in the least.  I feel I try to get things done and can’t.  I feel I have so many projects in the works and can’t even finish one.  It’s so frustrating and makes me feel inadequate in so many ways.

From the last year, I know this is part anxiety and trying to work with correcting things I let get the best of me.  I am working through them and doing what I can yet still feel bad.  My Daddy tries to make me feel better yet at times doesn’t understand. This is not his fault and thank goodness he continues to try!

Just had to jot this down and now will work on my post…

KK xx

Exhausting…

I have always held things in, made sure all around me were happy, acting like I was okay at all times. Had always been told that no one wants to hear your problems because they don’t care and being down brings others down. Didn’t want others to worry about me, I would be okay and there are so many others out in the world dealing with things much worse than me.

But doing this all the time wears a person down, makes a person feel they are alone and is completely exhausting. So much so a person will start looking elsewhere for happiness and understanding.

I know. I have been there. More than once. I am learning to deal with these things and to realize when I am getting to the point where I need to stop, take a breath, and know it’s time to work with boundaries, self-love, and work through the thought and actions bringing me down.

It’s taking time and understanding, but I am getting there and know there are others out there doing the same.

Love you all❣️

KK xx

*Picture/meme from Pinterest